Mental Health Week – Running with Anxiety

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There are 2 reasons I was inspired to write this post; 1. Because WordPress in all its wisdom suggested some ideas for blog posts and I went with option 5, Indecision, 2. Because I recently saw this article about the famous fashion vlogger Zoella, who suffers badly with chronic anxiety (much like myself) and filmed herself having a panic attack. Pretty brave for sure. And 3. Because it’s Mental Health Week and plenty of my friends have also suffered from these complaints.

Anxiety is generally that ‘fight or flight’ feeling you get when you’re prepping for exams, doing presentations at work or meeting new people for the first time.

Mine happens all the time – when I go to bed, when I wake up, when I’m driving, when I’m at work, when I’m reading, when I’m writing my blogs, when I’m running… You get the idea.

It’s a constant. Something that won’t disappear no matter how many drugs I take, how much exercise I do or how happy I am. There’s always the worry that something is going to catastrophically, 100% going to go wrong. This is why I’m really surprised that I enter so many running races. The sheer anxiety should kill me off. But it doesn’t.

My stomach is in knots, I can’t sleep properly, my mind wanders off at any given moment (even at times when I should be fully concentrating like when I’m driving), my jaw hurts from constantly being on edge and tense. I’ve tried the pills, the exercise, yoga, mindfulness, deep breathing, writing everything down, going on holiday, reading and plenty more things that were suggested. But it doesn’t seem to shift.

Running and exercise seem to lighten the symptoms and for a time I do feel ok. But if I can’t get out and do exercise, my anxiety gets even worse. But what, I hear you ask if causing this anxiety? Answer? Who knows.

famMy life is pretty awesome; I have an amazing family, awesome friends, good job, lovely boyfriend who gets my anxious moments and plenty of exciting things to come in the future. But no, my little anxiety gremlin is not happy about any of this. But I am.

Whether my gremlin likes it or not, I’m going to continue to try different ways of keeping my anxieties at bay. I might be undecided about a lot of things thanks to its presence in my life but I’m certain that all of these guys help to make it better. They’ve supported me through plenty and continue to support me through my running even though they think I’ve got a touch of the crazy (which I suppose they’re technically not far off)

Either way, like Zoella, I won’t be defeated by my mental health stuff and if anything, it fuels my need to do more and more awesome things. Like entering half and full marathons for fun obvs…

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Mental Health Week – Running with Anxiety

  1. Anxiety is tough. I suffered from insomnia for some time last year and it was down to stress and anxiety. My fight or flight response just went into overdrive and prevented me from sleeping. Fortunately mindfulness and a course of counselling helped me to deal with things and so far I have managed to keep things at bay. I’m glad you are still able to run and get out and exercise if that is something that helps you manage it. Thank you for sharing. The way you haven’t let it hold you back is amazing x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely message Kathleen. Did you really? Did Mindfulness really work? I can do it sometimes but other times, my brain wanders into Anxiety Central and stays there! Thanks so much for sharing with me 🙂 It’s almost reassuring to know other people are out there know how you feel 🙂

      Like

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