‘I’m sorry to tell you sir/madam but I’m diagnosing you with… Running Addiction.’
Ah yes, so we might not have all heard this from our doctors but if you run, you’ll know it to be true. So, whether you’re starting out on your running journey or whether you’ve been doing it for years, here are 10 telltale signs and symptoms that you’ve come down with Running Addiction:
1.Obsessive Cleaning Disorder
You should have shares in your local water provider for the sheer amount of time your washing machine is on. You wash more running kit than normal clothes (and don’t really know what ‘normal’ clothes are).
2. No ‘going out out’ clothes
You’re going ‘out out’ with friends and need to wear something vaguely fancy. However, 90% of the clothes you own are lycra or day-glo and the other 10% are pyjamas.
3. Accessory addiction
You’re going out on your long run. You’ve got all your kit on ready. Then you realise you DIDN’T CHARGE YOUR GARMIN!! *Shock, horror* You subsequently have an internal breakdown and question whether you can even go out running. So, you settle with an app on your phone and pray it keeps working.
4. Continuous Met checking
Weather watching is vital. The Met Office should have you subscribed for the amount of time you spend on the app checking what the weather is going to be like. You’re not sure why you’re checking because you’ll be heading out no matter what the weather’s doing.
5. Separation anxiety on rest days
Your rest days are spent feeling guilty about not heading out for a run, despite having run 10miles the day before. You can’t concentrate. You do other things to distract you like cleaning the bathroom, hovering, doing the washing up. After 30minutes of panic, you think ‘Could’ve run 5k in that time’.
6. Verbal running diarrhoea
It’s all you can talk about. You join groups on social media so you can talk about it even more. Whenever anyone asks how your weekend was, you reply with how many miles you’ve run in how many minutes/hours and wait for the ‘Oof really? Wow, I couldn’t do that’. Welcome on board that little hint of smuggery.
7. Foam rolling is something you look forward to
The Foam Roller. Unbeknownst to those who don’t feel strongly about running. Adored by those who do run. Why book a sports massage when you could fight with a foam roller? You suddenly start to realise what all those people were on about when they said ‘It’s good pain’.
8. When you’re stuck in traffic and you think ‘I could’ve run there by now’
…so you head out when you get home to test that theory.
9. You masking tape yourself together so you can keep running
Good old Kinesiology tape! You’ve got a funny feeling in your ankle but instead of resting, you tape it all up in a pretty pattern with the brightest tape you can find and power through. It’s just choosing if it’s pink or blue or camo tape…
10. Despite the jokes from friends and family, you keep on running
We’ve all had the friends and family saying things like ‘Oo, just a little 10 miler today is it?’ and other such jibes. Really, we all know that they’re supportive and see how much passion we have for our hobby. That’s why we embrace it and get our trainers on…. after we’ve proposed they come for a run with us!
Any of these symptoms familiar? If they are, stand up, be proud and keep on running. There’s no better feeling in the world.